The Ultimate 3 Step Plan To Get Your Ex Back: STEP 3

So, you’ve examined what went wrong in your relationship and you know, now, not to make the same mistakes. You have also come to grips with the situation and you aren’t a sobbing mess (because that’s just not productive and it’s also definitely NOT attractive) and now you’re really ready for the next step to get your ex back! So let’s get started! -

STEP 3 – Customize and Execute “The Plan” To Get Your Ex Back

You can find various ways to get your ex back on the web. Most of this information is pretty accurate, and it may not hurt to try it if you are in a certain break up situation. However, what I find is lacking in most of these plans, is that they only apply to more or less “conventional” break ups. Some of the advice could be good for any situation, but then there are the kinds of complicated break ups that need more fine-tuned advice.

For example: most relationship advice will tell you to stay away from your ex and do your best to better yourself before you make contact with them again. This is actually very good advice in many circumstances, and I’ll talk a bit more about it later.

However, what do you do if you are the one to blame? What if you were cheating on your ex and that is the reason why they left you? They are probably feeling immensely hurt and betrayed. In this case, the advice many experts give about “making them a little jealous” will most likely backfire and distance them from you even more! This is why it is important to really think about your situation and how the advice applies.

To Apologize, Or NOT To Apologize?

(Here’s The Answer To The Question)

Apologies are a bit tricky – if you don’t know how to make them properly. Some people will go right into apologizing for all sorts of things when their significant other leaves them. Usually, this just comes off as being desperate, and doesn’t at all have the desired effect. If you have done nothing wrong, you shouldn’t be looking for things to apologize for. If this sounds like you, proceed to the next section titled “The No Contact Tactic”.

However, sometimes you really do need to apologize to get your ex back. If you are responsible for the break down of the relationship, for instance, if have been unfaithful, a heartfelt apology can be just what you need to get your ex back. However, even simple apologies can go horribly wrong. Here are a 2 of the mistakes people make when they try to apologize:

1- The “I’m Sorry BUT”

Nearly everyone does this. We start off great by uttering those two first words, but then after that we add the “Buts” and these completely ruin the apology. This in fact is not an apology; this is an excuse, or even worse, an accusation! If you want your apology to have a chance of being accepted, leave your “Buts” out of it.

2- Not Really Thinking About Exactly What You’re Sorry For

Lots of people do this one, too! They start like, “Baby, I am so, so sorry for EVERYTHING!” and the other person is like, “Oh really? What exactly are you sorry for?” and then they’ll be like, “Uh, uh, you know – for EVERYTHING!”. This usually won’t cut it. Giving specifics means that you have given your apology some thought and you’re not just using “Sorry” as a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card.

Most people can smell out insincerity from a mile away, so apologizing sincerely and properly are very important if you want to get your ex back.

The No Contact Tactic: How To Make it Work For You

If you are the one that was wronged in the break up, or if you have apologized properly and have done your part to leave the relationship without anything unsaid, you should move on to the “No Contact” period.

What is “No Contact”?

No contact is a tactic based on the basic principle that

“People don’t realize what they have until it’s gone”

Basically it requires you to rebel against your natural instinct to beg and plead your ex to come back to you. This does two things:

1. It keeps you from doing anything desperate that could ruin your chances of getting back your ex.

2. It allows them to realize you are gone, and they will soon start to miss you.

This tactic works so well because men and women alike NEED challenge in their life. If their relationship was stagnant and boring, that might be one reason why they left. You were probably thinking “How can she/he leave me when I was always there for him/her?” Well, believe it or not, you always being there may be one of the things that made them say “goodbye”.

We like a challenge, and men especially are born hunters. When something is no longer challenging or fresh, we find something that will keep us challenged. So, if you haven’t kept things fresh, or if you were too clingy and lost your “walking power” your only way to regain this is to REVERSE the rejection.

You have to be “cool” with the break up… or at least appear to be cool with it. This is unsettling for your ex, because they expect you to be hurting (just like they are). Soon they will feel like YOU dumped THEM and instead of you scrambling to win them back, they may very well be the one scrambling to get you back!

Making Yourself a “Prize” Again

It is very hard to get your ex back if you don’t have much to offer them. For example, if you have “let yourself go” during your relationship, or you have nothing interesting going on in your life, you are probably not in a good position to make your ex feel like there are the one losing out with the break up. This is why it is important to improve yourself in the time that you are away from your ex. You need to raise your value in their sight. Another reason why exercising and focusing on your own interests is so important, is because it will give you confidence in yourself, and confidence is very attractive. You want to be able to show your ex that you are an interesting and worthy person – with or without them!

Once they get the point that you are an individual who doesn’t NEED them to survive, they will realize that you could very easily move on to another person. And, while most people are cool with breaking up with someone and starting to date other people, they are very rarely okay with their ex starting to date. Weird but true!

Handling the “Reconnect”

After a period of no contact and focusing on improving yourself, your ex will probably have called you up to find out what is going on. If they have, congratulations! – they are the one pursuing you, which makes things much easier. If they haven’t, that’s perfectly fine, and you will simply need to go the extra step and get in contact with them.

This is can be done in a casual way, you can just call or text them and ask them how they are doing, and if they reply, you can suggest you meet out for something quick and non-committal like coffee or a quick lunch. This will usually be agreed to, and then you can start working your moves and magic on him or her.

Do You Have The Right Moves To Get Your Ex Back?

How you handle the first meeting is crucial, even if it’s not technically a “date”. However, the list of different things to do and to avoid doing is too long to put down here. The whole area of “how to get your ex back” is much too large to be covered in a single article or even a few articles. Getting back an ex is such a personalized experience, and each break up is different, which is why personalized advice is so helpful. Because of this, I’ve decided to give you the SPECIFIC information that you need through my personal emails series rather than in a “one-size-fits-all” articles such as this one.

This email series will not only give you the information YOU need in YOUR situation, it will also cover many of the other points we weren’t able to address in this series, like:

-When and EXACTLY HOW to apologize. (A good apology can undo a world of hurt)

-How the “No Contact” rule applies if you are still living or working together or if you share custody of your children.

-Sleeping with your ex: at what point is this a good idea?

-How your physical fitness affects your moods, and ultimately your relationships.

-The quickest way to get back into your ex’s mind and into their heart.

-The “Instant Reconnect” technique that INSTANTLY tricks your ex into feeling like you are a couple again.

-How to deal with mutual friends and your ex’s family.

-How you can regain the romance and make the renewed relationship LAST!

You have an amazing chance of getting your ex back if you follow a few simple guidelines. So, what are you waiting for? If there is a chance that it is true love, isn’t it worth fighting for? Don’t let your relationship fade away so easily! Find out how to get your ex back, today!

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