“No Contact” Deal Breaker? – How Do You Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend
You have probably heard that it is best to wait about 3 weeks after your boyfriend breaks up with you before you try contacting him. This cold-shoulder tactic is called “No Contact” and its purpose is for him to feel a sense of loss and start to miss you. But, how do you get your ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend? Does this change everything? Do you need to go on the attack and start actively trying to get your boyfriend back, as opposed to abiding by the No Contact rule?
Does NO CONTACT Still Apply?
If you know anything about how this method works, you will understand why it will still work even if your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend. But, if you don’t know the basics of No Contact, I’ll review them here.
- No Contact means that you do not get in touch with your ex for at least 3 weeks after the break up.
Why do this?
- First of all, it prevents you from seeming desperate. You may feel like begging him to come back, but desperation and neediness are unattractive traits.
- Second, if you don’t look desperate, to him that will mean that you don’t really care that much. You could do just fine without him. And to quote my favorite relationship guru,
“He who cares less, controls the relationship”
- If you don’t care, then he will wonder if HE was the one that got rejected and not you. Men can’t take rejection, and so he will seek ways to get you back (so he won’t feel rejected….).
- At about 3 weeks without you, he will start to actually realize you are gone, and if he doesn’t do anything, you will likely stay gone. This sense of loss can be overpowering, and he might even come begging you back at this point.
So the question is: Can this help you get your ex boyfriend back when he has a new girlfriend?
The answer is: Yes, this can still work.
The new girlfriend actually doesn’t make that much of a difference. Sure it can be a distraction for him for a while. But the truth is; rebound girls don’t last. If he quickly got into another relationship after breaking up with you, it is probably an attempt to fill the hole that was left when he outted you from his life.
However, sooner or later, he will realize that the new girl is simply NOT YOU and he can’t replace you that easily. This is why 99.9% of rebound relationships fail. He will start to see traits in the girl that remind him of you, and this will increase his sense of loss even more. So, instead of worrying about how do you get your ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend, you can actually see the situation as something you can use to your advantage.
How Do I Make This Work For Me?
First of all, if he tells you about her or if you bump into them somewhere, you have to play it cool. Don’t be angry or ignore them. I mentioned that I had a favorite relationship guru a little earlier, and since his advice has been so helpful to me, I thought it would be very selfish of me if I didn’t introduce him and his AMAZING techiniques to you. His name is Matt Huston and he’s the author of the bestselling book, Get Him Back Forever. The advice and tactics put forth in this book have helped thousands of people (myself included) to fix their relationships and get back their exes. Matt gives very specific advice about getting back an ex after they have moved on in Chapter 5. Aside from providing invaluable information on EXACTLY what you should do and say if you see your ex and his new girlfriend, this chapter states again and again that :
The best way to handle this situation is to be friendly and most of all CONFIDENT.
Your easygoing attitude about the situation will put your ex off guard and will make him wonder what’s going on. Your confidence will also make the other woman feel insecure. This is all good.
Shake the new girl’s hand and tell them that they both look great together, then tell them that you have to go meet a friend and that you’ll catch up with them later.
Alluding to a “friend” will get your ex’s mind working. Do YOU have another man? Is that why you don’t need him? Again, using the method of “reverse rejection”, detailed in Get Him Back Forever, will get him chasing YOU. We always want what we can’t have, so if he feels he can’t have you, (guess what?) HE WILL WANT YOU.
So just to recap:
How do you get your ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?
- Don’t sweat it. Rebound girls don’t last.
- Show him that you are not threatened by the situation
- Make him believe that you are having fun WITHOUT him
Doing these 3 counter-intuitive things will knock what he expects from you for a loop, and he will be scrambling to find out how to get you to care about him again. (Ta-Da!)