Top Tips on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After a Fight

Every couple does it. We fight, we argue, we cool down… then we make up. Right? Well, most of the time, this is how things go. However, there are times when things get too out of control, we say things that we don’t mean to say, or we say things that we do mean, but in the wrong way, and in the end the two parties separate – this may or may not be accompanied by the token throwing of objects.

But, after the initial anger has worn off, you will probably really regret this hasty breakup and wonder how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight. The good news is there is a good chance that you can work out the problem and get back together. But you will need to work on a few things first.

Why You Should Wait A Few Days

Waiting a few days after a fight allows both you and your ex to cool down and think about what happened. Think of it as an adult “time out” for being naughty. Think about what you were fighting about and whether it was really important or not. Also, don’t just focus on where your partner was wrong – this only causes more fighting and it is not how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight. Instead try to think about what you did wrong or, if you are in the right, how you could have handled the situation better.

Taking a few days off also ensures that you aren’t still heated and angry when you talk to your ex boyfriend again. YOU BOTH WILL HAVE HAD ENOUGH TIME TO MISS EACH OTHER, and this will make talking to each other again so much easier than if the fight is still very fresh in both your memories.

Learn How To Handle Arguments

ALL couples argue… A.L.L. Even the ones that look like they get along so well and never disagree – they simply know how to handle their arguments in a mature way. Arguments are a normal part of being in a relationship. You are two different people and you will undoubtedly have different opinions. This is normal. But, when you start to attach too much significance on your disagreements, or when one or both of you always has to be right, you will just find yourselves constantly arguing and not enjoying being together anymore.

If you are always like this, then even if you do figure out how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight, you will both just end up arguing again and again until you break up again. You will both need to learn how to deal with your disagreements, and when necessary -

Learn how to agree to disagree.

Don’t Back Down if You Were Right (Just Present Your Point Better)

One mistake that I had always made in the past is that, in desperation of trying to get my ex back, I would take full responsibility for the whole fight and apologize for everything, even though it wasn’t all my fault. But, as relationship guru Matt Huston points out in his book “Get Him Back Forever” this only leads to more problems. Matt, who has spent more than ten years figuring out what makes relationships last, says that “taking blame” when the other person is in the wrong, just encourages bad behavior in your man and it makes him feel like he can do anything he wants and you still won’t leave him.

You may feel like this is unconditional love, but it is really just the “doormat syndrome”. While you feel you’re being a martyr, wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight and doing your best to make the relationship work, your guy is getting bored with you because you are not a challenge to keep around anymore and he doesn’t need to work to keep you. He already has you, and as we all know,

We never really appreciate something that we don’t need to work for.

So, do work out your issues and fix and apologize for those things that you are responsible for. But don’t take blame for things that your partner needs to take responsibility for. Don’t let him off easy if it is something that is going to ruin the relationship if it isn’t dealt with. You need to learn that “punishing” bad behavior is just as important as rewarding good behavior if you want to make the relationship last. Matt Huston says:

“Punish is a rather harsh word. There is really nothing harsh about what we are doing when you “punish” your boyfriend’s bad behavior. It needs to be done, not only out of love for yourself, but out of love for him.”

Matt then devotes an ENTIRE CHAPTER to how you can “punish” problem behavior, WITHOUT  resorting to yelling or arguing.

How To Get Your Man Back After A Fight Without Compromising Your Beliefs

So now that a few days have gone by, what do you do?If you’ve been looking over “Get Him Back Forever” to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight then you’ll probably know exactly how to handle this next interaction with your ex (hint: Chapter THREE!). If he calls you before a few days, you can tell him something like “I’m sorry, I just need a few days to figure things out. I’ll call you back soon.” Don’t be angry, rude or overly emotional. Just let him know that you will talk to him when you’re ready.

If he hasn’t called you, or if he has and you told him you would call back, call him in a few days and tell him that you feel you need to talk. Try to do this somewhere quiet and private, but not in the same location as the last fight. Even if you have decided to break up with him, or vice versa, it is important that you both part on a happy note and that you have closure. However, what will usually happen is that you can work out your issues and set new ground rules for the relationship that can even bring it to the next level of more intimacy and less unpleasantness so that you don’t need to worry about how to get your ex boyfriend back after a fight ever again.