Help! – My Wife Wants A Divorce!

My wife wants a divorce, what do I do? Most men are shocked to find that their wives were dissatisfied enough with their marriage to want a divorce. Sometimes, you can see the trouble brewing, but even then it is usually a shock when your wife tells you she wants out. So what can you do if you find your self in this situation whether it’s expected or totally unexpected?

What Should I Do If My Wife Wants A Divorce?

So what’s the first thing I should do if my wife wants a divorce? First of all, don’t panic. I say this all the time, because it is the most important thing. You simply cannot make good decisions if you are in a panicky frame of mind. You will only make mistakes that you will regret later on and which may ruin your chances of remedying the situation in your marriage.

Another reason that you shouldn’t freak out, is because in all likeliness your wife is not really ready for a divorce. She may really feel like she is done with the marriage and wants to get out as soon as possible, but in reality, it takes a great deal of thought and examining your inner emotions and motives to truly be willing to accept a divorce. So, either she has fully thought out the consequences of the divorce (which is rarely the case) or, she is fed up with things the way they are and asking for a divorce is more of a cry for help than a statement of any finality.

I can hear you asking “Why does my wife want a divorce??” many men are confused about this, and really if you asked your wife straight out why she wants a divorce, she might not be able to give you a clear answer either, because she is probably a bit confused as well. So how do you figure out what do in this situation?

First of all, you will need help to figure out what’s going on, if the reasons aren’t as clear, as they often aren’t. One of the best ways to find something like this out is to learn a quick lesson in female psychology. One of the best resources I have found for this, is the best selling book by T.W. Jackson called the Magic of Making Up. This book is amazing; it gives the best insight into the female psyche and the strategies laid out in the book to win back a partner are extremely effective.

Anyway, in the book, Magic of Making Up, T Dub explains the differences between what men need in a relationship versus what women need. He explains that a partner will leave a relationship or a marriage, when their basic needs are not being met. So what is it your wife needs that she feels you are not giving her?

Understanding the Basics of What Your Wife Wants

No two marriages are the same, so your situation will invariably vary from anyone else’s. However, you’ll find that your chances of winning back your wife will greatly improve if you realize that what your wife needs most of all out of a relationship is to feel treasured and cherished. Believe it or not, most of the arguments she started were caused by her trying to get you to pay her more attention. Of course, she probably went about it in the wrong way, and it had the undesired affect of pushing you away rather than gaining your love and appreciation.

But, now that you know that this is what was meant by those arguments and disagreements, you can do your best to remedy the situation, by making her feel cherished and treasured again. Of course, this is just your part. She will need to do her part and do whatever she needs to do to fix the marriage. But, you don’t need to worry about that. You just need to concentrate on doing your part.

Of course, she may not realize that you are doing your best to get her back, and she may not initially appreciate your efforts. In this case, it might be a good idea to initiate the plan that T Dub lays out in his book for a “No Contact” period. Instead of immediately denying or going along with a divorce, simply agree to a separation. Then you will need to carefully follow the rules for no contact which you can find in the Magic of Making Up. This is a drastic measure, but, if done properly, it can be super effective and the answer to getting your wife back. Ask yourself “My wife wants a divorce… Am I going to let that happen without doing my best to prevent it?” and if your answer is “no”, then get ready to try some pretty counterintuitive tactics to win her back!