4 Of The Best Tips On How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

If one of my friends tells me that their boyfriend or husband has just left them I immediately turn into a big ball of teary-ness, and I’m ashamed to say that I’m not the best person you could call up if you need a cool, level headed, strong, reassuring person to reason things out with you. At least not right away…

You see, although I do know some good tips on how to get your boyfriend back, it’s hard for me to even start helping my friend to reconcile things with her ex until after I’m done crying on her shoulder (as she cries on mine… that’s teamwork!) and after I’m done cursing her ex and labeling him as a SFG** (stupid-@#$ing-guy). When I’m done with my verbal tirade I’m usually in a much better mood to give any advice I’ve learned. (** I apologize for any references to profanity. It’s just part of my process…)

How Did I Come By Said Knowledge?

Some of the advice I’d like to share with you, if you are looking for tips on how to get your boyfriend back, comes from my own experience. Since I’ve been through the worst break up known to woman (I’m sure it really wasn’t, but at the time it sure felt like it!) I know what it feels like to have your heart handed back to you by the one you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I know that it hurts…. Like hell! But I also know that you will live through it, and maybe even become a stronger person because of it. How do I know? Well… I’m still here! Maybe I’m not the strongest person ever, but I’m definitely strongER. And I know that, even though it may be hard for you to believe right now, you will get through this dark place in your life, too! I promise.

So, obviously I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I can only figure out how to do things by myself to a certain degree. I learned some of what I know the hard way, but there was still quite a few things I didn’t understand and didn’t know. But, one thing about me is, if I don’t know something, I sure as heck am going to find out who does.

This is how I came to know about T.W. Jackson, more affectionately known simply as T Dub. Most of the tips on how to get your boyfriend back that I want to share with you, here, come from his book, The Magic of Making Up. I think what I find the most refreshing about his style of advice, is that it’s not “gimmicky” like some of the other relationship guides I’ve browsed through. It’s just commonsense good advice that seems obvious, but that I had never really thought of, myself. If you are going through a difficult break up and if you are wondering what is the best way to go about winning back your ex boyfriend, check out his page; it could be just what you are looking for.

My Top Tips On How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

So, I’m just going to imagine that we’ve finished having a good cry together and I’ve cussed your ex into the next century.

Now I’ll ask you a few questions:

Do you still love him?

Do you think you two could be happy together?

Should we get him back for you?

If you answered yes to these questions here are the tips on how to get your boyfriend back:

1. Don’t contact him.

I’m sure you’ve probably heard of this one before, right? Well, I hadn’t. And so I did what I thought was best. – I begged!

I’m not proud of this, and it did me no good. You see, desperation and neediness is unattractive. I’m not sure about you, but I probably wouldn’t want to date the lady who jumps on top of my car to wash my windshield. I feel sorry for her, yes. But, I usually just want to get the heck out of there before she does something crazy.

Your ex will probably feel the same way if you are constantly calling him and trying to get him back. By trying to pull him back, you end up just pushing him further away. This is why the “No Contact for Three Weeks” rule works so great – it keeps you from looking desperate and saying things that you will regret or that you don’t really mean.

You also need to be very careful to keep “aloof” even when you do regain contact. The dangers of exposing your true feelings too early, something T.W. Jackson calls “Premature Reconciliation”, are displayed in this short video -

You can find more videos and other extremely helpful resources >>>HERE<<<

2. Come to grips with the break up.

This is arguably the hardest part of the “win him back’ process. But, please know that when I say this next thing that I have to say, I don’t mean to belittle what you are feeling right now in any way.

You may feel like your life has ended because your boyfriend broke up with you. But the truth is -

You WILL NOT die without him!

Your life will go on, even if it doesn’t include him anymore. Does this mean you shouldn’t try to win him back? No. It just means that if you want him back, you need to have a better perspective of the situation. You need to know that you don’t NEED him. You love him, and you feel you would be much happier with him, BUT if he doesn’t come back to you, it is not the end of the world.

You need to believe this in your heart if you want to be the kind of strong, confident, SMEXY lady that is going to attract your ex back.

3. Try to have fun.

This may sound ridiculous to you. You feel terrible; how could you possibly have fun? But the reason it is important to get out there and at least try your best to have some fun, is because if you just steep in your tears, you are not going to be ready, physically or emotionally, to get back together with your ex. You need to drag yourself out of your despair (my friend had to drag me out… kicking and screaming… by my hair!… figuratively speaking).

Don’t shut yourself off from family and friends at this time. Reconnect with them! When we are in a relationship, we get a little exclusive and we don’t make as much time for the other people that we love. Use this time to invest in the other people in your life.

Focusing on having fun with other people, instead of on your problems, is one of the quickest and best ways to beat your post breakup blues.

4. Focus on improving the whole you.

T Dub says this very matter-of-factly -

“Taking care of yourself is the first step to taking care of your relationship”

This is why focusing on you is the most important step to getting your ex boyfriend back. You can’t control your ex, what he does, or how he will act towards you. But, you do have control over yourself. You may feel very “out of control” with the whole situation, but this just means that you need to work hard to get thing back in control.

Although you cannot MAKE your ex take you back, you can improve your chances that he will WANT you back by being the best version of you that you can be.

I don’t want you to get down on yourself and feel like you have been failing. I know that when someone breaks up with you, the first thing you think is “what’s wrong with me?”. I don’t want you to think like that. You should think “How could I do things better?”. It’s asking the same question, more or less, but the way you approach the problem will be different.

The reason that most relationships fail is because a lack of passion. Nothing shows this more than when couples start putting less effort into the way that they look and basically just let themselves go. If you are guilty of this, now would be a good time to get back on the ball and start exercising and eating right.

Even if you have stayed pretty fit, by changing the way you look, either by upgrading your hairstyle or the way that you dress, you can give your ex a visual cue that tells him you have changed. You may not be the same person that he broke up with. Who is this new mysterious woman?? If you can get him back into the frame of mind that he was in when he first fell in love with you (Who is this girl? I wonder if she’d go out with me?) it will be very easy to get him back with very little effort and flirting on your part.

This Is Just the Beginnning

These are my top tips on how to get your boyfriend back. Of course, this is just a start and once you have him back, you will need to work out whatever problems that caused the breakup. You can find detailed advice on how to keep the fun alive and keep the passion strong in your relationship once you are back together in the Magic of Making Up. But for now, I hope these tips give you a good base to work off of so that you can get your ex back as soon as possible. Best of Luck!